He tried his best to break her. And maybe he did. But did he really think anything besides fire would be released from the cracks he made in her heart?
Do you know the last time I spoke with my narc?
Do you know the last time he attempted to affect my life and reputation?
This last Monday, October 15th.
There’s a very real chance they’ll never leave you alone. They know that you know who they really are, and odds are they’ll never stop trying to make sure no one believes you. Their one goal in life will be to destroy you. They will be malicious, they will fabricate stories and twist events. They will be desperate.
They will be obsessed.
Here’s the good news: this is the easiest part for you. All you have to do is remember 3 things.
Silence: because unlike them, you don’t have be loud and boisterous to be noticed and make a point. All you need is time.
Confidence: I’ve touched on this before- no matter how many lies they tell, how many stories they fabricate, how many people the think are on their side…they don’t have what you do. Proof. Actual evidence. Proof he made fake accounts and messaged you dozens of times after getting a fabricated restraining order against you for no other reason than that he fooled his commander. Proof he abused you. Proof he harassed you. Proof he has and is cheating on you. Proof what he said and continues to say about you is false. Proof of things I can’t even write here because of ongoing investigation. This is where the next step comes in.
Patience: Narcs lie. It’s one of the things they’re best at. They consider themselves the smartest, most cunning, and clever person in every room they enter. They may fool people for a day, month, maybe two. But the thing about lying is the truth always comes out. It is literally impossible to lie as much as they do and for no one to catch on at some point. So why is this part the easiest for you? All you have to do is wait. The more they lie, the more unreliable they turn out to be, the more desperate and unbelievable their stories are, the better it is for you. And the worse it will be for them. When people who have defended them realize who they turned out to be the fallout will be significant.
I feel bad for her. I know who she is of course, this new girl. She knows who I am too. He isn’t careful, he likes to be caught and talk his way out. She thinks he’s already divorced when, in reality, he finally signed papers (that I’ve done all the work for) just today. Which means the divorce still won’t be final for another 6-8 weeks. This is going to be a hard hit for someone like her. I’m sure she has a good heart because all of us do. I can only hope she starts to see soon.
He finds cute quotes “just for her” that he also used for me, and the last girl, and the one before her.
He tells her she’s his soulmate and he didn’t know what love was until he met her.
He tells her she’s perfect the way she is to build confidence before he tears her down.
But the thing I feel the worst about for her…how he pretends to be in love with her but continues to be so obsessed with me.
If only they could have “good” obsession. But no. Their minds aren’t full of thoughts about how to help you, how much they love you, your future together. Their minds are full of how they can control you, degrade you, break you down, keep you on your toes, manipulate you, change other’s perception of you, control where you go and who you see. There’s no such thing as good obsession in the mind of a narc. They live to destroy everything about their target and build up everything about themselves. She may be his girlfriend, but I am still the target.
Go ahead, be obsessed.
I will continue to do better like I have every day since I left. I will continue to help others. I will continue to take pathetic attempts at attacks and refute them. I will continue to speak the truth. I will continue to fight. I will keep on going, even through all the BS he keeps throwing at me instead of paying attention to this poor new girl.
They can be obsessed. It won’t stop you or me. Every time they do something to hurt you, they slowly show outsiders who they are. Hope they stay obsessed, at least for a while, because all it does is give you an upper hand. I can already see people starting to realize who he really is.
Silence. Confidence. Patience.